一直存在着?
I don't know how to phrase it in a nice way so just get my message across... I am single again le... Reason? Unknown... Or should I say the reason given wasn't the reason at all. Maybe I think my 'telepathy' was still working but I can see from her eyes that the reason is not the reason. she just don't want me to think less of her perhaps.
I sent her home one last time though she wasn't keen on that idea. Didn't took back the neo-card we took on Monday but I kinda threw it back at all. I know I was silly and I regreted not taking that neo-card. I do want it to be part of my memories of her but my intinct seem to overruled that. Anyway, I got a bit emotional when HaoHao called so nearly broke down. She's so near yet so far... I don't know... Just went loitering at Marsiling until I cooled down a bit, faced a corner and called JingYing but she's at City Hall so I went back Yishun to find XiaoZhen.
Went back the playground of my childhood, been 7 years since I stepped onto it le but still as comfy as always. Tears still rush out, I would say. I did made the decision to love her as she is, I gave my all, I gave my heart, I do not regret loving her... Tears juz rolled down while I sms XiaoZhen that I reached le. She came down and I think I did look terrible. Shagged... Unshaven... Unkempt... Down and out...
Talked, cried and laughed with XiaoZhen until we left that playground. It's nice to be back at somewhere I am comfortable with... I got to play around with a young cat that is super guai. Maybe he knew that I was feeling down. After a while, we walked over to the playground near my block. It was a new playground so kinda unfamiliar with it. XiaoZhen made me a card though. Thanks wor, XiaoZhen...
JingYing came to Yishun, so we went to a place at the central. It's the town park but got a place that's on a small hill and overlook the road. I told them things that went through my mind and blah blah loh... Felt good with them around but after sending JingYing to the MRT and XiaoZhen home... I felt kinda lost... Juz reached home not long... Hope things will be fine with her, I know she's under more stress and pressure than me... JingYing said I was serious about her though it's only 5-6 days... I don't know how long I will get over her... A decision made is a decision made after all... She may think that she's not worth my love, but I still stay by my decision to love her with all I have, all I can coz she's worth every bit that I love her for. I love her for who she is and I accept who she was... I know I disappointed her with my actions but I love her still... Maybe when the day comes when I hear someone talking behind her back, I might just punch him in the nose...
For now... I do and still and will love her... It's dumb but it took me 7 years to stop the crush on XiuWei who did not even start with me... I think she might take longer than I can count to... She's still the one I first love, first held, first hugged and first kissed... She can try to make me forget her but maybe she already know that I won't...
It's not so easy to fang xia after all...
-Weeping Willow of ORiN...
I sent her home one last time though she wasn't keen on that idea. Didn't took back the neo-card we took on Monday but I kinda threw it back at all. I know I was silly and I regreted not taking that neo-card. I do want it to be part of my memories of her but my intinct seem to overruled that. Anyway, I got a bit emotional when HaoHao called so nearly broke down. She's so near yet so far... I don't know... Just went loitering at Marsiling until I cooled down a bit, faced a corner and called JingYing but she's at City Hall so I went back Yishun to find XiaoZhen.
Went back the playground of my childhood, been 7 years since I stepped onto it le but still as comfy as always. Tears still rush out, I would say. I did made the decision to love her as she is, I gave my all, I gave my heart, I do not regret loving her... Tears juz rolled down while I sms XiaoZhen that I reached le. She came down and I think I did look terrible. Shagged... Unshaven... Unkempt... Down and out...
Talked, cried and laughed with XiaoZhen until we left that playground. It's nice to be back at somewhere I am comfortable with... I got to play around with a young cat that is super guai. Maybe he knew that I was feeling down. After a while, we walked over to the playground near my block. It was a new playground so kinda unfamiliar with it. XiaoZhen made me a card though. Thanks wor, XiaoZhen...
JingYing came to Yishun, so we went to a place at the central. It's the town park but got a place that's on a small hill and overlook the road. I told them things that went through my mind and blah blah loh... Felt good with them around but after sending JingYing to the MRT and XiaoZhen home... I felt kinda lost... Juz reached home not long... Hope things will be fine with her, I know she's under more stress and pressure than me... JingYing said I was serious about her though it's only 5-6 days... I don't know how long I will get over her... A decision made is a decision made after all... She may think that she's not worth my love, but I still stay by my decision to love her with all I have, all I can coz she's worth every bit that I love her for. I love her for who she is and I accept who she was... I know I disappointed her with my actions but I love her still... Maybe when the day comes when I hear someone talking behind her back, I might just punch him in the nose...
For now... I do and still and will love her... It's dumb but it took me 7 years to stop the crush on XiuWei who did not even start with me... I think she might take longer than I can count to... She's still the one I first love, first held, first hugged and first kissed... She can try to make me forget her but maybe she already know that I won't...
It's not so easy to fang xia after all...
-Weeping Willow of ORiN...
