Why I kept quiet...
I have so much that I wanted to yelled out and yet I kept quiet. It juz seem that what I said don't get into their ears or wat. Quarreled with my mother coz I wake up then go my study to use computer. Great, whatever I do is wrong. Not hungry, I am forced to eat. What the... Still have my see the lian se of my 'elder' sis! What the fuck! When did I have an elder sis? I am simply boiled up inside. Stress, pressure... The sound of my heart giving way, cracking away...
They think I only use my computer, all the time in front of the computer. She ask for it then I muz immediately give it to her. She's ba dao... What I paid for with my hard earned money, I have to give her when she asked for it. What the FUCK is that? What I have been paying every month even when I am broke, she ask for it, I oso have to let her have her way. What the fuck! So what can I do? I think maybe it's time I cleared my stuff away and put them in my room... It's the only safer place in a place that people like to refer as my home but in reality, my home is my room, not the area outside...
I am pissed but what to do? Life had not been fair to me for a long time liao so juz continue with my life loh... I always have to get things through my own means after all. Hopefully once I earned enough from my holidays, I can filled up all my debts, get a new computer and table in my home. I even thought of taking my computer apart... It's weird rite? All my aunts felt that I shouldn't be paying my own bills coz I am schooling but look at JingYing. Who's worse... She even have to pay her school fees. I wonder when I will reach that level of independence... Maybe I can start it soon since my attachment is starting soon. Since she like is so much then let her have the computer all to herself coz I will take the broadband away, she can have that 56k. Maybe today my lunch and dinner, I can try to be independent? Cook noodles and add in some eggs, veggies or meat loh... Noodles and eggs seem a bit too often for me liao... Add some other stuff bah...
Sometimes I wondered why I kept quiet... Maybe it's coz whatever I say, I am always wrong... Wrong Wrong Wrong! Always wrong! Say what oso no use, waste of energy, wasteof saliva... I think it's time for Francis to leave the nest liao bah... I don't even think I actually belonged to that nest.
ORiN...
They think I only use my computer, all the time in front of the computer. She ask for it then I muz immediately give it to her. She's ba dao... What I paid for with my hard earned money, I have to give her when she asked for it. What the FUCK is that? What I have been paying every month even when I am broke, she ask for it, I oso have to let her have her way. What the fuck! So what can I do? I think maybe it's time I cleared my stuff away and put them in my room... It's the only safer place in a place that people like to refer as my home but in reality, my home is my room, not the area outside...
I am pissed but what to do? Life had not been fair to me for a long time liao so juz continue with my life loh... I always have to get things through my own means after all. Hopefully once I earned enough from my holidays, I can filled up all my debts, get a new computer and table in my home. I even thought of taking my computer apart... It's weird rite? All my aunts felt that I shouldn't be paying my own bills coz I am schooling but look at JingYing. Who's worse... She even have to pay her school fees. I wonder when I will reach that level of independence... Maybe I can start it soon since my attachment is starting soon. Since she like is so much then let her have the computer all to herself coz I will take the broadband away, she can have that 56k. Maybe today my lunch and dinner, I can try to be independent? Cook noodles and add in some eggs, veggies or meat loh... Noodles and eggs seem a bit too often for me liao... Add some other stuff bah...
Sometimes I wondered why I kept quiet... Maybe it's coz whatever I say, I am always wrong... Wrong Wrong Wrong! Always wrong! Say what oso no use, waste of energy, wasteof saliva... I think it's time for Francis to leave the nest liao bah... I don't even think I actually belonged to that nest.
ORiN...
