Trying...
Drank about 3 cups of coffee at work today juz to stay awake... hahaha... Coz last nite I was back to my usual time and slept 'early' again. Hahaha! Don't know what's actually wrong with ChenLing recently. I came back from camp and she's back to that cold cold self again... Haiz... Sometimes I wonder why my frens always so not yang guang 1... She's not even anywhere near that friendly gal that I got to know juz before my exams but I think that's it bah... We can only be hi-bye friends bah... It's all her fren's fault saying that she's too good to guys liao and now I feel like I lost a fren... K N N!
Today's problem is still staying awake... Which I struggled along all day with my brains working at low levels and no creativity juice flowing out of me at all... Don't even talk about cheekiness, even the quiet Dinah is more cheeky than me today... ^_^" I juz want to get my pay asap and foot that 120 bucks bill... Then I need to pay my aunt back her $115 and pay my mother back $200. There goes the money that I earned and I still got my fone bill that I have not received yet...
All I feel like saying now is 'Big Fuck!'. I am feeling lousy at the moment or at least my inner self is feeling lousy. I show my lousy feelings. I expressed them through words on irc or whatever. So the number of times that I get angry online is more than I get angry in reality coz I almost neber do that... Weird rite? Nvm... Aquarius are born odd balls... I am born an odd ball by being extraordinary skinny and ultra big mouth... I am trying to change and I am trying hard... I am trying not to fall in love with every gal everytime I changed a corner and I am trying not to open my fucking smelly mouth that often... When I try, no one sees it... When I slack off, everyone says I am not trying at all... So what's the big fuck about? I don't know...
Friends are a very important part of me although I still do okay without them around me but I supposed that I still need them... After that thingy with JunTing, I got WanYi around me... At least now I try not to fall in love with every gal I see when I turn a corner... hahaha... I am improving on it so cannot blame me mah... I am not going after ChenLing and I am not going after Dinah... That's what I am telling myself now... I am not going after ShuTing and LiangYue or anyone of my nu ers... I am not going after WanYi definitely... hahaha... Don't want to scare the hell outta her and don't want her to scare the hell outta me... hahaha! I don't want to go on dreaming about BGR thingys anymore liao bah... No more tears for now at least... ^_^V Lets hope I can keep that up... If I can survive 1 month of chatting with Dinah without jioing her out then I think I will be okay... hahaha!
I can't help dreaming but I am trying to stop dreaming...
Today's problem is still staying awake... Which I struggled along all day with my brains working at low levels and no creativity juice flowing out of me at all... Don't even talk about cheekiness, even the quiet Dinah is more cheeky than me today... ^_^" I juz want to get my pay asap and foot that 120 bucks bill... Then I need to pay my aunt back her $115 and pay my mother back $200. There goes the money that I earned and I still got my fone bill that I have not received yet...
All I feel like saying now is 'Big Fuck!'. I am feeling lousy at the moment or at least my inner self is feeling lousy. I show my lousy feelings. I expressed them through words on irc or whatever. So the number of times that I get angry online is more than I get angry in reality coz I almost neber do that... Weird rite? Nvm... Aquarius are born odd balls... I am born an odd ball by being extraordinary skinny and ultra big mouth... I am trying to change and I am trying hard... I am trying not to fall in love with every gal everytime I changed a corner and I am trying not to open my fucking smelly mouth that often... When I try, no one sees it... When I slack off, everyone says I am not trying at all... So what's the big fuck about? I don't know...
Friends are a very important part of me although I still do okay without them around me but I supposed that I still need them... After that thingy with JunTing, I got WanYi around me... At least now I try not to fall in love with every gal I see when I turn a corner... hahaha... I am improving on it so cannot blame me mah... I am not going after ChenLing and I am not going after Dinah... That's what I am telling myself now... I am not going after ShuTing and LiangYue or anyone of my nu ers... I am not going after WanYi definitely... hahaha... Don't want to scare the hell outta her and don't want her to scare the hell outta me... hahaha! I don't want to go on dreaming about BGR thingys anymore liao bah... No more tears for now at least... ^_^V Lets hope I can keep that up... If I can survive 1 month of chatting with Dinah without jioing her out then I think I will be okay... hahaha!
I can't help dreaming but I am trying to stop dreaming...
